Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
