Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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