Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize