I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
