Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
