if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
