ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
