did you get engaged???
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My bed smells like the plague
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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