I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
