i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize