As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
