whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
we should paint friendship bongs
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
