I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
