Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Randomize
