doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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