I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I intend to get homeless drunk
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
