Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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