So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
