If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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