She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize