Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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