I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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