Yo dont text me then not text me
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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