Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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