Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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