u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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