Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
