Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Randomize
