I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
