..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
