It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
