your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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