Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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