I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
two words: eviction party
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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