This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I am naked and annoyed.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
