On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
