I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
