your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Someone came in the potted fern
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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