I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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