I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Ketchup is God's man juice
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
