So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
