he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I want to make a zoo with you.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
