Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
