Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
