All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize