so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize