Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
