She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
