I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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