no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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