so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
