Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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