Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
she pinky promised me she was 18
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
