Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
