I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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