If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
