She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
