i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize