I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
