dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
