and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm just crazy horny about you
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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