We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
