Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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