when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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