Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I need a beard to bite.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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